Wake Me Up.

Indeed, the song “Wake Me Up When September Ends” by Greenday is totally appropriate right now. It’s nearing the end of September, and wake me up then okay!

I can’t wait to leave St. Margs. FIVE MORE DAYS (:

Lifehouse – Everything, Skit

Omgoodness. This is like awesome. I like the last bit the best. (:

Prelim Results

Maybe I didn’t too well for Prelims. But I know I could have done better. It was all mistakes I shouldn’t have made.
God has a plan for me, that I know.

I’ve learnt that…
All the expectations I had to meet was just crap. No one can tell me what I have to get. No one else can expect something of me, because it’ll just contradict what I have up in my mind. I don’t care anymore if people start to form opinions of me. Opinions like, “Maybe she isn’t as good as I thought she was.”

I’m glad I passed English this time. I’m glad for a lot of things. I’m glad I had that DSA. And I thank God for it.

Yesterday at Amplify Friday. I was just so thankful for the community I have who’s so willing to pray and support me. And you know something? I know they won’t start to change their attitudes towards me.

My mum was okay towards my results. And she said, “It’s not the real thing.”
At that, I heaved a sigh of relief.

The Lord Is My Shepherd…

RESULTS WILL BE OUT IN A FEW HOURS TIME. Then again, it’s not gonna be the full results. I really don’t want to fail English (again).

Heard the top in level for English was a B4. Like wtf! I seriously ain’t got any comments.

All I want to do right now plant a knife in my heart.

I was telling Steph today, “I’m scared of results and I’m scared of dying.”

Steph gave the most sensible response ever. Fill in all your complaints in this statement, “The Lord is my shepherd…”
So she said, “The Lord is my shepherd, therefore I’m scared of dying.”

IT TOTALLY STRUCK ME LA. No need for anymore words.

Scared. Just Scared.

Everyday, I sit on the bus, and pray that the bus uncle drives safely. I’m scared of dying.

Everyday, I say bye to mommy in the morning as though I’ll never see her again. I’m scared of losing her, I’m scared of her losing me. VERY SCARED. I love her too much.

And yet, I pray that God’s beside me. Because I know it’s His will.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
Can you just ignore the language right now! I NEED SOMEWHERE TO RANT AND SCREAM! AND MAKE SURE SOMEONE SEES/HEARS IT.

I’m so freaking scared for prelim results. And the school is taking freaking long to give it to us.
Ya think I’ll meet my expectations? I DID STUDY LA.
And now all I dream of at night is 15 points. 17 points. 20 points. GOODNESS. I think I’ll just murder myself right now.

The truth is I’m scared to face the music. I know I’ve done my best. But why am I feeling like that huh? TELL ME WHY.
I’m just talking to myself right now.

Woah. My friends tell me they’ve got 8 points! I’m uber happy for them.
But it just makes me want to kill myself even more.

YOU HAVE COMPLETELY NO IDEA HOW SCARED I AM RIGHT NOW. I can’t even use all this energy to study. I simply can’t. ):

I’m so scared of what tomorrow brings okay. I don’t want to know.
I don’t want to wake up to a new day of surprises which will make me or break me.
I so scared to wake up, not knowing when I’m leaving this earth.
How about all the people I love?? How about all the people I’ve yet to say sorry to??
SUDDENLY I FEEL EVERYTHING’S TOO LATE.

I need someone right now.
I’m just so scared. Insecure maybe? ):
I NEED YOU GOD. Where are you? I’m just grappling around in the darkness. I can’t find the light. I really can’t.

Soul Song

A TRUE FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE SONG OF YOUR SOUL, AND SINGS IT BACK TO YOU WHEN YOU’VE FORGOTTEN THE WORDS.
It struck me.

100!

You’re probably thinking what’s up with me putting 100! as my title.
Nopes, this ain’t the 100th post.
Nopes, I didn’t score 100 marks on any of my papers.

IT’S 100 DAYS TO THE END OF THE YEAR! (:

While others will be waiting till December 26 to 31 to rush out an “End of year reflection” post thingy. Why not now? Why wait till the end of the year.

I must say that this year has been a mad roller coaster ride.

Jan:
Sec Four. It all felt so foreign. Finally. It’s the big Os. Intensive SYF rehearsal begins.

Feb:
Intensive SYF rehearsals continue. And I almost cannot take it already.

Mar:
Holidays don’t seem like holidays to me. It was pretty much a rush thru as well.

Apr:
This month was the real killer. SYF rehearsals stepped up on intensity. Mid-years were also drawing near. And we couldn’t stop CCA to study! I killed myself in April.
Both figuratively and literally. Broke down most of the time, because I couldn’t handle the fact that my exams were unprepared for and most of the choir members still had a damn sucky attitude.
And we had only 2 days after our SYF central judging to focus 100% on mids.
CHOIR WAS MAD. And now when I look back, I daresay it was definitely a journey to train my determination, and willpower.
Sure, I do love singing. But maybe SMSS choir wasn’t the thing for me.

May:
Mid-year exams continue. And well. I don’t really remember much of May. Other than the fact that I was juggling between studies and Church Ministry.
And that SYF load ceased to exist. It all felt too good.

June:
THE MONTH WHERE MY LIFE CHANGED (again).
YISS. Definitely not a camp to be missed (it’ll be on again this year from 6-9Dec).
Faith re-affirmed. New found calling. New people in my life. Empowering Youth to be leaders of today’s Church.
Why not TOMORROW? Because WE MAKE THE CHURCH. And WE doesn’t exclude Youth. And we are the leaders of TODAY’S CHURCH.

July:
Term 3 starts. And all teachers are drilling into our puny minds the fact that prelims is merely 9 weeks away.
“Spend Term 3 well,” they all say. I sure did. I had the time of my life journeying with God more seriously, and building on our relationship. And for once my studies was not my main concern. People were. God was.

Aug:
Three more weeks to prelims. OH NO. Everyone hit the switch and all went into “PANIC! mode”. Everyone. Everyone but me ):
It took me a long 2 weeks to realise that prelims were NEXT WEEK.
Come to your senses Nat!
Right, so I studied day and night. Like literally. I had to burn the midnight oil (coffee) that I’ve been stocking up on.
Thank goodness I made it, and thank goodness I’ve been doing constant revision throughout the year.

Sept:
I’m here right now. Reliving the 256 days that have already past. And now, with even more conviction, I’m placing my studies totally in God’s hands (BUT DUH. I DO STUDY OKAY! Just not revealing how many hours a day: You might faint.)
It’s 8 more days till a brand new month! And it’s a few more days to the time I leave St. Marg’s. It has been an awesome ride definitely, but leaving it just seems so… I can’t wait (:

Thanks for reading everyone. I have completely no idea who actually read all that. But it meant a lot. To know that someone

It’s All OVER!

It’s all over! Well, not entirely all. At least I managed to live through Prelims. I didn’t die la. I think I was quite slack also. SHIT MAN. I think it’s due to the fact that I actually got a DSA. ):

Ok Nat, YOU MUST WORK FOR Os OKAY.
Complacency brings disaster upon yourself.

Got two papers back. Chem and Bio P1. Looks pretty good so far. (: [Considering I didn't study a single shit for my bio].
Can’t wait for all my results. Then again. Maybe English, Combined Humanities and Amath can wait a while.

Win a Sony Ericsson K810i!

I’m helping a friend, Alvin, to publicise about this site thingy. It’s some Chinese thing, but the game I’m gonna tell you about (and make you play) is not in Chinese, so no worries!

http://omy.sg prelaunched their site today with a teaser game that got me wasting at least 20 minutes at home before my practical exam which is about to start real soon. (Alvin wasted 30 minutes)

ANYWAY, here’s HOW TO PLAY: You got thirty seconds (thereabouts) to snap as many newsworthy pictures as you can with your fake K810i. Before your battery runs out, you have to send the shots to 75858. More details can be found on http://www.omy.sg.

Here are some screenshots of the game:

Apparently, something BIG is coming up on 25th Sept. Oh and if you happen to be blind, here’s what the ant-sized text says: “Thank you for submitting your score. The plot thickens 25th September. Something BIG is brewing, be sure to be back!”
Cont’d by some weird Chinese text that I can’t really see.

Some top scorers scored up to 2000+ points. I’m sucha sucker. I managed to do 400. Not even 25% of that score

BUT TRY IT LA! You never know if you’re gonna win that lovely phone! (:

It retails at $598; $398 for two-year contract with Singtel. Don’t ask me about Starhub or M1. Go find out on your own! But it’s definitely a great feeling to win something FOR ZERO DOLLARS.

Here Comes… NAT THE FAT

Everytime I look at the mirror. I see someone FAT. LIKE REALLY FAT. I want to be skinny la. F***.

I’ve weight issues. Like recently, and I will not lie about it.

AS OF TODAY. I RENOUNCE MY LOVE FOR FOOD.
I’m going on a STRICT DIET, so that I will not ruin my photos anymore.

Gotta lose 15kg.

F***it nat. You’re sucha pig. =X

So much for anti-dieting. Sometimes, people change. Always.

Red Skinnies

KILL ME LA. I got red skinnies today. I’ll be looking like a minah real soon. Mwahaha.

East Coast-ing

OMG. I had the most awesome time at East Coast Park today! Then again it depends on your company yeah. Thank God for BestFriend and my fellow YISS people!

Bestfriend, Kelynn, Daisy, Stefanie, Ming, Marcus, Jason and Ant.

Anyway, this uncle rocks okay! He gave us like awesome prices for the bike rentals. We got TWO HOURS of riding FREE (compared to the usual one hour he gives others). =P

Haha, yeah, and bestfriend loves to camwhore. TO THE MAX. So much so my camera has pictures half filled with her.

We even had a tiny massage session! By akido pro.

Poor Jason. His wheel broke. And he had to pay $110 for a new set.

If I lay here. Haha. I was so tired of resting la.

Ming

Jason

Marcus

Oh ya! Kelynn and I got our butts wet trying to get this shot! Yeah.

Yeah, I was trying to get a shot of the leaf. =X

Headed down to Parkway Parade afterwards. And we ate ANDERSEN’S ICE CREAM!! WHOOHOO. The RUM AND RAISIN ROCKS OKAY!

MWAHAHA. ALL FOR MEEE!

I can’t wait! I can’t wait!

Haha. The happiness after the first scoop of icecream.

Need I say anymore?

For any more pictures: Check it out here.  ==> http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=21964&l=f999c&id=595566000

Bye Bye Fringe

Haha, it seems that people are never happy with what they have eh?

You see that new sports car, you want it, but when you get it… You want that NEW HOT RED SPORTS CAR that you saw on the papers.

You see the latest cutting edge handphone of the millenium. When you get it… You realise that it isn’t so great after all, and you would rather that slimmer handphone with three cameras and a touch-screen.

Haha, well. I always wanted that long fringe. And seems like when I got it. I wasn’t too happy with it. AND SNIP SNIP. I snipped my fringe off just moments ago (no no, I didn’t cut bangs).

Oh well. Life’s like that.

YOU MOVE ON. AND YOU LOOK BACK. Then you realise what you did wasn’t too good after all. But you still go on anyway. Time is not your friend.

Thanks babe. For teaching me that thru your experiences.

HAHA! Last paper for prelims today (other than Practicals)! And after tomorrow, it’s Os prep all the way (actually after tomorrow, I’m gonna slack for a bit at East Coast with my bestfriend and others)!

Thanks. For bringing me through it all. I know I haven’t been spending time building on our relationship, but you were always there. You have no idea how much you mean to me.